I statements role-play: a 30-minute conflict resolution activity

1. Start with a contrast. Say the same complaint two ways: "You always cut in line!" and "I feel frustrated when people cut in line because I waited a long time. I need everyone to go to the back." Ask: "Which one makes you want to fix it?"
2. Teach the four parts: the feeling, what happened (the action, not the person), the reason, and the request. Point out the trap: "I feel like you're mean" is a "you statement" in disguise.
3. Model a role-play with a volunteer. You use the frame; the volunteer practices a calm reply: "I didn't know. What can we do?"
4. Partners take turns. Read a scenario; partner A speaks, partner B replies, then they switch. Give about 90 seconds per round.
5. After each round, two or three pairs perform. The class names the strongest part of the frame they heard.
6. Close by asking where the frame could help this week. Post it where students line up for recess.

Scenarios to start with:

1. A classmate keeps taking your pencil without asking.
2. Your group finished a project, and one member who didn't help wants their name on it.
3. A friend told someone else a secret you shared.
4. The same person picks the recess game every day, and you never get to choose.

Keep scenarios low-stakes and made up. Bullying, anything unsafe, or anything that involves an adult is not a "work it out yourselves" moment. Tell students which problems always go to a trusted adult.

Differentiation: for students who need more support, post a feeling word bank (frustrated, left out, worried, embarrassed). For advanced students, add a listening step: partner B repeats back what they heard before replying. For English learners, rehearse the frame chorally first and allow reading it from the board. For students who find role-play stressful, let them be the director who reads the scenario, or act it out with two pencils as puppets. Program the frame into AAC devices ahead of time.

Quick check: on a sticky note, rewrite "You ruined my drawing!" as an I statement.

If you try it, share a scenario your students wrote that worked better than ours.